:happy:Sailfish said:A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep. The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
:hilarious:Mycomputerman said:Boudreaux was driving down the road the other day, with his wife, Marie, and his mother-in-law in the car. Every couple hundred yards, the two women would take turns telling him something about his driving.
"Slow down ! Watch the other car ! Don't drive so close to the center line ! Look out for that curve ! Etc. Etc." After awhile this started to wear on Boudreaux. He slams on the brakes and pulls onto the shoulder of the road.
Turning to Marie he says, "Look, who's driving dis car? You or your Momma ?"