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:facepalm: :happy: :happy: :happy: :cheers:
 

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This subject reminds me of this...

I'll put the answer in the next post so you can have a chance to guess before seeing it.

Thought you would enjoy this educational moment in American history. Can you name this strange old tool? Do you know what it is?
 

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Here's the answer to the prior post.

Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum.

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.


Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowing smoke up your ass.”


Amazingly, it is still in constant use in Washington, D.C., by the best senators and representatives that money can buy.
 

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:happy: :happy: ;)
 

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In case you wondered why athletes can't have regular jobs.
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the up coming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl", Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, Univ. of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

6. Senior basketball player at the Univ. of Pittsburgh: "I'm goin to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that's beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height", and, "You guys pair up by three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for 3 years, not Princeton..."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, boxing promoter, on the Spartan training regimen of Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at 6:00 in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?" The player said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four "F"s and one "D": "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of MC State great Charles Shackelford: "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas wh he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responed: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."
 

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This smartass blonde looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."


***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds,had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then and try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.

"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, "Yesterday."

***********

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

***********

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "
 

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Figure this one out: br(_|_) ooooooo

Winner gets a free :beer: next time we meet!
 

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:eyebrow: Brasso....hehehehe cleaner....perhaps? :angel:
 

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Nice try, but not it... No more guesses?
 

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I like Sailfish's response :eek:
 

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50 Shades of Gray




He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ....... back and forth ..... back and forth ..... in and out ..... in and out.
She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.
Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,







"OK, OK! I can't park the **** car! You do it, you SMUG *******!
 
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